Our Journey Through Life, Laughter, and the Adventures in Parenthood.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Where I've Been Hiding

In la la land really. We've been some busy bee's around here the last month or so. We (I) had a bridal shower, Mother's day, a birthday, a benefit, a wedding, and a trip. It was fun to see everyone at various events we don't normally see, but serious, today was the first real weekend day we had in about 6 weeks where we had nothing scheduled. And it just so happened to be a "rainy" day. I've also just been in a slump, with my photography, and in my creativity, which I guess essentially goes hand in hand. I've really been feeling that "same ole picture" "same ole story" like; who would want to read about my day... did anything interesting go on? But I look back at all the things that have really gone on and, jeeze what new mom, old mom, non-mom wouldn't want to hear about the juggling task of making cookies with a soon to be 21 month old? See, we have the oven and back area of the house blocked off, but someone is getting tall enough to reach over the gate and get to the oven. So I learned pulling out a sheet of cookies, shutting the door and keeping the kiddos hand away from the hot door has proved too hard for this mom, and I have a 2 inch burn on my arm to prove it. Good thing those cookies were good!
Looking back its been a great month or so though. Mother's day was wonderful. I was blessed with a new kitchen fairy, and an awesome lawn star my husband and son decorated for me. It was this cool little concrete mold with glass pieces, it has a perfect "Q" in the middle. LOVE! It was a busy day as usual but wonderful none the less! I went to the bridal shower/and a wedding of a girl I grew up with. She's a few years younger which makes it even harder to grasp that we're old enough to get married, (sometimes I forget I'm married, with a little boy, and {gasp} approaching my 28th birthday). We celebrated my brother in laws 33rd birthday, and made a trip to Bakersfield to visit our friends. This was in fact our first over-nighter. I know what you're thinking Quinten is almost 21 months old and you're just now going somewhere overnight? We just never had the opportunity, the desire or the location to do so. But we did it, and Quinten did great! A seasoned pro I tell ya! Here are a few photos from our vaca... a trip to MyGym (FANTASTIC!! I wish we had one!!) and then some finger painting.

Memorial day weekend ended with some visits from some out of town friends (hello Liz!), and a new water toy from Grandma. Quinten is a water kid to say the least. Our baths last at least a half an hour and I swear he could make a teaspoon of water fun :) Although the weather hasn't been that great (it was about 65 this day). We said 'screw it' and played for a bit anyways. He had (as you'll see) an amazing time.

So we've been busy. I've been a little blah. Life is as, it is. I have that feeling, I want to do something. I want to provide for my family, but not spend anytime away from my family. I want my son to have it all, know it all, be it all. I want to make a difference, but don't know how. I want more. And I guess who doesn't? I want to do what I love, and succeed, but I'm afraid. Afraid of failing, but really I'm afraid of succeeding. Sometimes in life success is far scarier than failure. I worry about the what ifs, but lately most of all I worry about the regret of not chasing after my ambitions. But you know the old "it takes money to make money?" well I get that now. And thats where the fear of failing, with money invested comes into play. Either way I plan to keep doing what I do, we'll do what we do. At the end of the day I have a happy, healthy little family of 3. If thats all I have, I have it all. I know I've said it a million times, but I'll tell myself a million times more :) xoxo

1 comment:

  1. i love you sweetie. I'm sorry you're so worried about failing/succeeding. I know it's never as easy as it seems but you my friend have talent and you need to just get yourself out there! I know you won't always have the software or whatever you may want to up the ante on your pics but you have the skill-the artistic eye for some GREAT candids and posed photos. Looking at those shots of your boy in the water, you've captured the excitement of the moment which is more important than anything when it comes to photography in my opinion. The more you get yourself out there, the more money you can make (and don't be afraid to ask for money-once you show them a portfolio, they're hiring you for what they've seen, not for what they think you might be able to do with a little more technology). you admitted you found your nitch and now it's your turn to make it yours-go out and GET IT :) I love you sweetie. I know it's so hard to put yourself out there but if it's what you want you just have to take that leap of faith :) enough blahbadeblah from me now. xoxo